Step No. 1:

Take 2, TWO, slices of bread. Sliced pan, white OR brown (or even a slice of each) for preference. I prefer brown myself.

x2

Step No. 2:

Take Flora or Butter (Anything else is just wrong) and scrape up a huge lump with a knife. Spread on the bread evenly, and scrape extra either back into the box or off the side of your plate. It has to be really yucky looking!

Step No. 3:

Take one heaped dessertspoon of Mayonnaise (Hellmans for preference). Spread over one slice of bread evenly.

Step No. 4:

Wash 2 slices of lettuce.

x2

Step No. 5:

Wash a tomato and slice up into approx 7 slices down-the-ways. The middle slice should have that yucky stem bit. Cut that out.

Step No. 6:

Cut 3 decent pieces of cheese.

x3

Step No. 7:

Slap on 3 slices of Ham onto the buttered and mayonnaised slice of bread. Then the cheese, then tomato, then lettuce.

x3

Add some more mayonnaise to the lettuce if required, seal the sandwich, cut diagonally, eat and enjoy.

A pointless How-to by...