From Michael.Dennehy@bertelsmann.de Fri Jun 1 15:34:53 2001 Return-Path: Delivered-To: 48ers@skynet.ie Received: from admin.csn.ul.ie (admin [136.201.105.1]) by holly.csn.ul.ie (Postfix) with ESMTP id 413DD2B2FC; Fri, 1 Jun 2001 15:34:53 +0100 (IST) Received: from mx4.bertelsmann.de (mx4.bertelsmann.de [62.52.71.35]) by admin.csn.ul.ie (Postfix) with ESMTP id AC8F03006; Fri, 1 Jun 2001 15:34:51 +0100 (IST) Received: by mx4.bertelsmann.de with Internet Mail Service (5.5.2653.19) id ; Fri, 1 Jun 2001 16:34:53 +0200 Message-ID: <150E204E37AAD211980D0000F689472805568962@debage51.bertelsmann.de> From: Michael.Dennehy@bertelsmann.de To: Tom.Cahill@Bertelsmann.de, Paul.York@bertelsmann.de, AMcCarthy@symantec.com, Kieran.Cleary@esat.com, daniel.cosgrave@aib.ie, deccy@skynet.ie, mark.j.osullivan@jpmorganfleming.com, BHunt@symantec.com, mdlelectrical1@eircom.net, jasmurphy@esat.com, jcostello@eurologic.com, ronan.keane@intel.com, davidlyons2001@yahoo.com, cutjackrocks@hotmail.com, Ciaran.moriarty@esat.com, niamh.clancy@cie.ie, Orla.M.Comerford@aib.ie, Richard.McMahon@esat.com, donalrooney@yahoo.com, RCostello@symantec.com, rory.m.liddane@aib.ie, royenright@hotmail.com, tony.collins@esat.com, trevor.m.neylon@aib.ie, 48ers@skynet.ie Subject: Top 25 Quotes of the Season: Date: Fri, 1 Jun 2001 16:34:40 +0200 MIME-Version: 1.0 X-Mailer: Internet Mail Service (5.5.2653.19) Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" 25) "Statistics are like miniskirts: they give you good ideas but hide the important things" - Aberdeen boss Ebbe Skovdahl wishes women would just not bother wearing clothes at all. Not a smart move in Aberdeen, surely? 24) "I don't know what it's like out there, but it's like an ice rink out there" - Stockport boss Andy Kilner, who does know what it's like out there. 23) "They say Al Capone did some good things in his life. Trouble was, he would go out in the streets and shoot people. Keane is becoming United's Al Capone" - Brian Clough compares the ManYoo skipper to a mass murderer. 22) "I've seen some players with very big feet... and some with very small feet" - David Pleat shows the importance of his years of experience. 21) "Even Mother Teresa would fail a medical the way Spurs conduct them" - John Hartson's agent Jonathan Barnett is disgusted that Spurs don't reckon dead nuns and portly Welshmen are fit enough to play for them. 20) "F**k off Coisty!" - Andy Goram gets the wrong end of the stick when Sir Alex Ferguson phones to offer him a place on the Manchester United bench. 19) "Drugs? Who needs them? Just come to Leyton Orient. I'm flying. That's certainly my stimulant and what a night it was. Nights like that are what football is all about. In celebration we are going to drink from the elixir of life, here at Brisbane Road, the centre of the universe" - Leyton Orient supremo Barry Hearn enjoys Orient's play-off semi-final victory over Hull. Perhaps a little too much. Imagine if they'd won the final! 18) "I was very angry with his tackle on Tomislav Kocijan. That's why I had a go at him and said I did not like his wife's music" - Sturm Graz midfielder Roman Mahlich is not best pleased with David Beckham. 17) "I know it was all around the ground but so are the seats." - Brighton assistant manager Bob Booker reacts hilariously to rumours linking Matt le Tissier with the Seagulls. 16) "I want the fans to know that before I finish my career we are going to win something. Otherwise I'll kill myself" - Melodramatic West Ham superhero Paolo di Canio. 15) "They are like slugs in a fish tank and need to be stirred into life" - Crystal Palace manager Alan Smith lays into his own players with one of his customary colourful metaphors. 14) "Don't tell the police, I'm a bank robber and I'm on the run" - Quick-thinking West Ham defender Gary Charles reassures a passer-by after crashing his car while allegedly under the influence. 13) "We are not going to feed those who, as clubs, are inferior to us. Cardiff City are the Celtic giants, not Glasgow Celtic... Robert Earnshaw is worth more than your total club put together. Only three British clubs can compare with Cardiff City - Liverpool, Arsenal and Manchester United" - Bluebirds chairman Sam Hammam responds to Celtic's interest in said young star Earnshaw. Celtic have 53,000 season ticket holders. 12) "I was watching the Blackburn game on TV on Sunday when it flashed on the screen that George had scored in the first minute at Birmingham. My first reaction was to ring him up. Then I remembered he was out there playing, so instead I rang his brother Jamie, who is also his agent" - Leicester's Ade Akinbiyi is desperate to congratulate his mate, Wolves striker George Ndah. 11) "Because of my seven-feet-tall height, and large skeletal frame, I have been commonly known as wembleystadium.net for many, many years" - Bob Thomson, who was forced to relinquish the rights to the URL wembleystadium.net at court. 10) "I don't really like the north. It's always raining, it's very cold and I don't like all those little houses" - West Ham's Frederic Kanoute doesn't want to move to a Northern club, which is probably just as well. 9) "Some people come to Old Trafford and I don't think that they can spell football let alone understand it. They have a few drinks and a prawn sandwich and don't realise what's going on out on the pitch" - Manchester United's Roy Keane says what we've all been thinking. 8) "Look at these small fry. I could piss on them" - Eric Cantona upsets French journalists on TV. 7) "Leeds reminded me of those poor Englishmen who invented football 15 centuries ago when they cut off a Viking's head, put it in a bag and started to kick it around." - Spanish journalist Julian Ruiz gets his historical wires crossed following the first leg of Leeds' European Cup semi-final with Valencia. 6) "I was thinking about Youri Djorkaeff and I said to myself 'I'd like to be a dog.' Dogs are nice. They can sleep any time, they wag their tails and on top of that they can get stroked all the time" - Barcelona's Emmanuel Petit likes dogs, y'know. 5) "He swerved to avoid what he thinks was a deer. It all happened so fast. He also said the animal could have been something smaller like a rabbit" - Chris Coleman's mate Nigel Greenhalgh after the Fulham star was involved in a nasty late night car crash. 4) "I would want to keep some reference to Stockport in the name, Man-Stock County for instance" - Stockport chairman Brendan Elwood immediately regrets saying the first thing that comes into his head after proposing County move to Maine Road and change their name. 3) "I remember so clearly us going into hospital so Victoria could have Brooklyn. I was eating a Lion bar at the time" - David Beckham gets his priorities straight. 2) "It's a type of gladiatorial warfare, without the benefit of a closed safety helmet" - Liverpool's Markus Babbel laments the absence of sturdy headgear in Premiership football. And now, the very best quote of the entire season... 1) "Football managers are like a parachutist. At times it doesn't open. Here, it is an umbrella. You understand, Mary Poppins?" - Chelsea boss and English student Claudio Ranieri