From Michael.Dennehy@bertelsmann.de Thu Aug 2 08:45:25 2001 Return-Path: Delivered-To: 48ers@skynet.ie Received: from mx8.bertelsmann.de (mx8.bertelsmann.de [62.52.71.39]) by holly.csn.ul.ie (Postfix) with ESMTP id EBF842B6FB for <48ers@skynet.ie>; Thu, 2 Aug 2001 08:45:24 +0100 (IST) Received: by mx8.bertelsmann.de with Internet Mail Service (5.5.2653.19) id ; Thu, 2 Aug 2001 09:44:17 +0200 Message-ID: <150E204E37AAD211980D0000F689472805568BDD@debage51.bertelsmann.de> From: Michael.Dennehy@bertelsmann.de To: Paul.York@bertelsmann.de, Suzanne.Williams@Bertelsmann.de, Mike.Keanly@bertelsmann.de, Tracy.ODonovan@bmg.co.uk, Aine.NiShe@bertelsmann.de, burkeca@COYLEHAM.IE, mark.j.osullivan@jpmorgan.com, bhunt@symantec.com, ian.dempsey@fmr.com, davidlyons2001@yahoo.com, thomas_cahill@email.msn.com, 48ers@skynet.ie Subject: Business Sign's Date: Thu, 2 Aug 2001 09:44:14 +0200 MIME-Version: 1.0 X-Mailer: Internet Mail Service (5.5.2653.19) Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Anyone recognise themselves?????????? > "What's Your Business Sign?" > > Instead of Astrological Signs, how about these .. What's Your Business > Sign? > > 1) MARKETING You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to > avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and > socializing which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. > Least compatible with Sales. > > 2) SALES Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a > degree." You are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you > and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with customers > so you can "concentrate on the big picture." You seek admiration for your > golf game throughout your life. > > 3) TECHNOLOGY Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are > instead content to completely control everything that happens at your > workplace. Often even YOU don't understand what you are saying but who the > hell can tell. It is written that Geeks shall inherit the Earth. > > 4) ENGINEERING One of only two signs that actually studied in school. It > is said that engineers place ninety percent of all Personal Ads. You can > be happy with yourself; your office is full of all the latest > "ergodynamic" gadgets. However, we all know what is really causing your > "carpal tunnel syndrome." > > 5) ACCOUNTING The only other sign that studied in school. You are mostly > immune from office politics. You are the most feared person in the > organization; combined with your extreme organizational traits, the > majority of rumors concerning you say that you are completely insane. > > 6) HUMAN RESOURCES Ironically, given your access to confidential > information, you tend to be the biggest gossip within the organization. > Possibly the only other person that does less work than marketing, you are > unable to return any calls today because you have to get a haircut, have > lunch AND then mail a letter. > > 7) MANAGEMENT/MIDDLE MANAGEMENT Catty, cutthroat, yet completely > spineless, you are destined to remain at your current job for the rest of > your life. Unable to make a single decision you tend to measure your worth > by the number of meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best suited to > marry other "Middle Managers" as everyone in your social circle is a > "Middle Manager." > > 8) SENIOR MANAGEMENT > (See above - Same sign, different title) > > 9) CUSTOMER SERVICE Bright, cheery, positive, you are a fifty-cent cab > ride from taking your own life. As children very few of you asked your > parents for a little cubicle for your room and a headset so you could > pretend to play "Customer Service." Continually passed over for > promotions, your best bet is to sleep with your manager. > > 10) CONSULTANT Lacking any specific knowledge, you use acronyms to avoid > revealing your utter lack of experience. You have convinced yourself that > your "skills" are in demand and that you could get a higher paying job > with any other organization in a heartbeat. You will spend an eternity > contemplating these career opportunities without ever taking direct > action. > > 11) RECRUITER, "HEADHUNTER" As a "person" that profits from the success of > others, most people who actually work for a living disdain you. Paid on > commission and susceptible to alcoholism, your ulcers and frequent heart > attacks correspond directly with fluctuations in the stock market. > > 12) PARTNER, PRESIDENT, CEO You are brilliant or lucky. Your inability to > figure out complex systems such as the fax machine suggest the latter. > > 13) GOVERNMENT WORKER Paid to take days off. Government workers are genius > inventors, like the invention of new Holidays. They usually suffer from > deep depression or anxiety and usually commit serious crimes while on the > job... Thus the term "GO POSTAL"