• fashion
  • Yes, you are right. Everybody should have and be proud of their own identity and be free to express that identity through their looks. However you must never allow clothes to define you. Conform when it makes your life easier. Dress sense is not a principle. Refusing to wear a suit to a wedding is a statement much louder and damning than you think. Society is wrong but it's still there, being blind to it will cause you more hardship than good.
• programmers
  • Everybody who codes should read "The Tao of Programming"
• nationality
  • This one's always great fun, "oh I'm half German and one quarter fucking French and a couple of eights Irish..." Balls! You do realise a nationality is not just a state of mind don't you? It's where your parents fucked and you were born. Or the latter in any case. When I as in Chicago I got into an argument with this guy in a pub, he was from Wisconsin and because his granny spent 20 years in Ireland he maintained that he was more Irish than I. His logic revolved around him having red hair and a firm belief in his heritage. I mean, how do you argue with rank, bald arsed stupidity? "The clue is in the name you see. For example I was born in Ireland therefore I am Ir-ish. If I was born in England I would be Engl-ish. Now you my friend were born in America so, stay with me now... So you are, yes that's right, go on you have it, a Mor-on. Well done."
• religion
  • deity with opposable indices
• music
  • taste baby, just have some fucking taste. I don't care what your preferred genre happens to be as long as it actually is music. Brittany Spears, for example is not. I shudder to think about the future of the human race when to quote Bill Hicks we are immortalising prepubescent mall rats' thoughts on compact disk so that they may never be forgotten.
• cameras
  • I brought a camera on holidays to Luxemburg once .... took two pictures. Well I only really wanted pictures of cool places, not people. So I took the pics, came home, never developed them, you wanna know why? Because professional fucking photographers had already taken pictures of these places and put them on the net, or in postcards. Why the hell should I waste my time reproducing an amateur effort when I can download these pics, launch Photoshop and stick a picture of my head in front of them ... ??? Anyway I don't like feeling like a tourist, waving cameras in everyone's face. So I got me one of those ultra small digital camera jobbies. Far better plan. Keyring size, fierce discrete. Photographic keepsakes are part of what girls are for and why we take them on holidays with us. While they take the pics, ill be at least 10ft away from them skulking in the shadows, or in a nearby pub. That way I can just wait until they develop the film to see all the sights while addressing the correct end of a small pint.
• intelligence
  • acumen, literacy
• life
  • life's a placebo masquerading as a simile. Either that or a mood ring we're not allowed to see. Anyway as Wilde said it is far too important a thing to talk seriously about. Having said that it does beat the alternative hands down.
• capital punishment
  • capital punishment means never having to say "You again ?"
• the american empire
  • ah the American way of life. Ok so Bush is a gun-toting maniac. There, I've said it, hillbilly pickup truck driving and gunrack twat. Small boy with a nuke where his prick should be. But hey, he wants to rid the world of Hussein? If he can do that without killing plenty of other people and turning Iraq into a wasteland then I say "faster pussy cat, kill, kill".
  • the problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?
  • oh this one's a gem, a case of the event horizon calling the kettle black :) "America is not developed enough or sophisticated enough to deal with the sensitivity of human beings" --Mike Tyson!!
• thought and brevity
  • currently contemplating the expanse and transience of the universe. Sifting through the bewildered detritus of my mind. Thinking would happen a lot faster if we didn't have to express it in English or code, there must be a more concise language. Brevity without loss of meaning. People who write Haikus are right. People, Haiku, Good.
• war
  • "The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his." -- George S. Patton
  • I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. -- Albert Einstein
• irc/icq/instant messanger/ytalk/etc
  • "Is it not the beauty of an asynchronous form of discussion that one can go and make cups of tea, floss the cat, fluff the geraniums, open the kitchen window and scream out it with operatic force, volume, and decorum, and then return to the vexed glowing letters calmer of mind and soul?" --The Cube, on http://www.forum3000.org/
  • ah, the trials and tribulations of staggered continuance, the non-linearity and inherent transience sometimes bewilders even I.
  • <lobo> and don't mention me, I'm just your imaginary friend. you know this pc isn't networked :-)
    <Minx> lol. so your only part of my imagination?
    <lobo> not part, I'm ALL of your imagination
    <Minx> are you alive?
    <lobo> somewhat ...
• the euro change over and the EU
  • when the revolution comes, count your change.
• doctors
  • shouldn't have to go to the doctor unless something turns black and falls off ! Lee's Uncle Frank went to the doctor, in the end all he had left was one good knee, so they had the rest of himself amputated and freeze dried. Lee used say he could give you a damn good kneeing if you look at him wrong ! It's true, in the end he got really pissed off with people buying him knee pads for Christmas so he did him self in ... he tried to knee-cap a train ... Lee tried to talk to him but he never listened ... Refused to use his hearing aid, let them shout he used to say ! ! BUT YOU HAVE NO EARS !! Lee'd reply, don't fucking need 'em, got no vocals either ! Poor Frankie.
• vocabulary
  • I don't use big words, merely jumbles of letters with slow metabolisms
  • <lobo> now that's not to say there isn't an elementary intellectual prerequisite precluding this and other discourse ...
    <Minx> PLEASE......I'm begging you. I don't understand you any more. lol
    <lobo> ve ask ze questions !
    <Minx> just use SIMPLE english please
    <lobo> simple english please, simple, Please english, simple.
    <lobo> :o)
    <Minx> smart arse.
• girls' bedrooms
  • ok just to get this one sorted out. Predominantly girls bedrooms have useless wrongly placed articles strewn about the gaff. You know the sort of thing. Rugs on walls, curtains on roofs, teddy bears, that kind of thing. What good is a rug hanging from the ceiling !?!?! The floor is where the damned thing belongs ! I'll grant you it can be quite amusing when during the night the carefully placed plaid wool fucking carpet falls on the bed. That's freaky, you wake up thinking you've tumbled onto the floor and the roof's fallen in. Very disorientating. Although as a girl once pointed out to me boys' rooms are just one big shelf... guilty.
• the beard
  • it's important to a man to grow some sort of beard at some stage in his life. Women don't get this. They don't have to. It's not about them.
• the next rant
  • to come...