a team of you and your coworkers have set out to modify the antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception
Dilbert is your hero
it is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working on a computer
people groan at the party when you pick out the music
people hound you for pocket protectors at Halloween time
the "fun" center of your brain has deteriorated from lack of use
the Humane society has you arrested because you actually performed the Schroedinger's Cat experiment
the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work and you rush up to the front to fix it
the only jokes you receive are through e-mail
the salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions
the thought that a CD could refer to finance and music never enters your mind
when you look in a mirror, you see an engineering major
when your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so precisely, that according to Heisenberg it could be anywhere in the universe
you always do homework on Friday nights
you are aware that computers are actually only good for playing games, but are afraid to say it out loud
you are completely addicted to caffeine
you are convinced you can build a phazer out of your garage door opener and your camera's flash attachment
you are currently gathering the components to build your own nuclear reactor
you avoid doing anything because you don't want to contribute to the eventual heat-death of the universe
you can name 6 Star Trek episodes
you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie
you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary
you can translate English into Binary
you can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting
you can't remember what's behind the door in the science building which says "Exit."
you can't remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time this week
you carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test that actually takes five minutes to run
you chuckle whenever anyone says "centrifugal force."
you consider ANY non-science course "easy."
you did the sound system for your senior prom
you don't even know where the cover to your personal computer is
you enjoy pain
you ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair project
you frequently whistle the theme song to "MacGyver."
you have -Dilbert- comics displayed anywhere in your work area
you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal
you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work
you have a neatly sorted collection of old bolts and nuts in your garage
you have a pet named after a scientist
you have ever owned a calculator with no equal key and know what RPN stands for
you have ever purchased an electronic appliance -as-is-
you have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance
you have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what's inside
you have introduced your kids by the wrong name
you have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery channel and have seen most of the shows already
you have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven
you have more friends on the Internet than in real life
you have more toys than your kids
you have never backed-up your hard drive
you have no life - and you can PROVE it mathematically
you have to bring a jacket with you, in the middle of summer, because there's a wind-chill factor in the lab
you have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts
you hesitate to look at something because you don't want to break down its wave function
you introduce your wife as -mylady@home.wife-
you know how to integrate a chicken and can take the derivative of water
you know how to take the cover off of your computer, and what size screw driver to use
you know the direction the water swirls when you flush
you know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division
you know what http:// stands for
you laugh at jokes about mathematicians
you look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys
you make a hard copy of this list, and post it on your door
you need a checklist to turn on the TV
you own -Official Star Trek- anything
you own a set of itty-bitty screw drivers, but you don't remember where they are
you own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts
you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires
you see a good design and still have to change it
you spend more on your home computer than your car
you stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE
you still own a slide rule and you know how to work it
you think in "math."
you think it might be a neat idea to send this message to all of your friends in the form of e-mail
you think that when people around you yawn, its because they didn't get enough sleep
you think your computer looks better without the cover
you thought the concoction ET used to phone home was stupid
you thought the real heroes of -Apollo 13- were the mission controllers
you truly believe aliens are living among us
you understood more than five of these indicators
you use a CAD package to design your son's Pine Wood Derby car
you want an 8X CDROM for Christmas
you window shop at Radio Shack
you'll assume that a "horse" is a "sphere" in order to make the math easier
you've actually used every single function on your graphing calculator
you've calculated that the World Series actually diverges
you've ever tried to repair a $5.00 radio
your 4 basic food groups are: 1. Caffeine 2. Fat 3. Sugar 4.Chocolate
your checkbook always balances
your father sat 2 inches in front of your family's first color TV with a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors, and you grew up thinking that was normal
your favorite part of the 6 o clock news is comparing their latest satellite weather picture with yours
your girlfriend says the way you dress is no reflection on her
your I.Q. number is bigger than your weight
your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the decimal point in the right place
your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies
your lap-top computer costs more than your car
your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner
your three year old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to explain atmospheric absorption theory
your wife hasn't the foggiest idea what you do at work
your wife thinks your taste in ties is bizarre
your wrist watch has more computing power than a 486DX-50
your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone
if, at Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string