To Yanira (3-12-1999)
What have I done so far?
What do I have to show?
Do I deserve this chance,
this life?
How can I waste it like
this, just drifting along,
aimless, not thinking -
not _thinking_ : what
a waste of living time.
The time I waste could
have saved a life,
a country, a world.
Who am I to do this?!
In my irresponsability
am responsable for what?
I am accountable for the
oxygen I am taking -
what am I giving back?
I should be living life
to the fullest - living
out the dream - not
this semi-unconsious
slumber - this half-wakeful
existence.
What have I done so far?
 I have not stood on the
peak of a snow-clad
mountain watching the
sun rise with all the
majesty of a king.
I have not sailed
across the silver sea
under the silver moon.
I have not shared
myself - I have not
expressed _me_.
Why? Why have I
not connected with
people - why is
that intensity of
emotion bottled up.
Why does it choke
me so? Why does
my heart throb
with unnamed
feelings.
Where is the nobility
to my life? Where,
are the high values,
those perfect moments.
Why am I not my
dreams. Why can I
not be who I should?