Our Cash, which art on plastic,
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy Cartier Watch, Thy Prada Bag,
In Harrods, as it is in Selfridges.
Give us each day our Platinum Visa,
And forgive us our overdraft.
As we forgive those who stop our Mastercard.
Lead us not into Next,
And deliver us from Benneton,
For thine is the Cartier, The Dior and Armani,
For Chanel No.5 and Eternity,
Amex.
_____
The Boys Prayer
Our beer, which art in bottles,
Hallowed be thy Sport.
Thy will be drunk, I will be drunk,
At home, as it is in the pub.
Give us each day our daily beverage,
And forgive us our spillage,
As we forgive those who spillest against us.
Lead us not into poofy wine tasting,
And deliver us from Tequilla,
For mine is the lager,
the chicks and the footy,
Forever and ever,
Barmen.