1. You spend all winter on the beer speculating on who will be
brought
in to manage the junior hurling team next year
2. The hardest tackle you will make all year is in an indoor soccer
match in January
3. When you break your borther-in-law's leg
4. There are 35 at training under lights on a bitter February
night
(unfit but enthusiastic) - the average for Augsut is 7 (unfit,
sick of
training and making silage)
5. The club treasurer spends some time at the AGM lamenting the
yearly
cost of running a club and especially the bill for hurleys; a
month
later, the team is being urged to "give 'em timber lads - we
have plenty
of hurleys on the sideline..."
6. When you go for a pick-up, you tap the ball at least twice
on the
hurley before you fumble it
7. Ground hurling is for juveniles and camogie players
8. The full forward has his son and grand nephew in the corners
9. The grand nephew is two years older
10. For a 2.30 throw-in, you start packing your gearbag at 2.40 and
still manage to be on the field before the referee even arrives
11. You can get a match called off because your star player is playing
divisional under-16 the following week
12. Your tight marking corner back never gives an inch - except of
course, when the ball gets inside his own 50 and he charges out after it
with all the other backs, forgetting that the other team are even on the
field
13. Your goalie lets in a sitter every second game - this usually
happens after you have scored 5 points from play to reel in a
difficult
half-time deficit
14. Or in the first minute if it is a final
15. Your full-forward can't score but "he's a good man to bust
up the
play"
16. Your centre-forward can't score either but "he'll stop a good
man
from hurling"
17. Your championship is either a round robin that requires you
to play
six league games to eliminate one team, or a knockout starting
in
October
18. Any members of your planel that claim to have back injuries
are
either lazy or completely daft - unless you can see blood, bruises
or
bandages, they are making it up
19. Before every match, the forwards are told to stay wide and
not bunch
- but this is not what happens. The only time any forward goes
wide is
to take a sideline cut or if they are looking for water
20. Your backs play from behind waving a hurley with one hand
whilst
resting the other on the forward's back - this is why all your
scores
and all their scores come from frees
21. You can't field a team during the fortnight of the Leaving Cert
22. Your star player always has one other brother "that was even
better
but he couldn't stay off the drink"
23. Your left-corner-back plays at No.4 because he can only strike
off
his left side
24. Ditto No.7
25. The more people instruct you to "let fly if you don't get
it up the
first time", the more you ignore them.