Firstly, I'd been asked to prepare a quarterly sales summary for
an Exporter of live animals in Ramsgate. I expected this to take most
of the morning, so I sprayed the keyboard of my computer with a liberal
coating of
Mr. Muscle and went to the toilet where I slept until 11.30,"
explained
Mr. Weller "Now, compiling quarterly summaries for large companies
is one of
he worst things about my job, I hate it in fact, so I'd expected Mr.
Muscle
to have done a great job. I was astonished when I returned to
my desk and discovered that he hadn't even started!
"That afternoon I was scheduled to interview graduates for a junior
position with the firm. If there's one thing I hate more than quarterly
summaries, it's interviewing students, so I decided to leave it to
Mr. Muscle. I squirted him all over the conference room on the second
floor left the bottle on the table and asked my Secretary, Miss
Harris, to
usher in the candidates when they arrived. When I returned from the
pub
about four hours later, I was sure Mr. Muscle would have at least prepared
a short-list for a second interview," Mr. Weller went on. "But had
he heck!
He was on the table where I'd left him, had taken no notes whatsoever
and all of the students had gone. I was furious!" continued Mr. Weller.
Jon Ramsey of the Advertising Standards Commission said in a statement:
"Bob Weller is a nutter."
Mr. Weller has been sacked by chartered accountants Firbridge, Kirby
and
Matthews, and has made a number complaints to the Advertising
Standards Commission pending review, including one against Cadbury
Confectionery, claiming that he has yet to find romance with a female
rabbit,
despite eating forty Caramels in one day.