This is apparently one of Magnus Magnusson's favourite after-dinner stories, but originally came from the Engineers Weekly" of Denmark, and illustrates the virtues - and pitfalls - of "thinking for oneself". It concerns the following question in a physics degree exam at the University of Copenhagen: "Describe how to determine the height of a skyscraper with a barometer."
One enterprising student replied: "You tie a long piece of string to the neck of the barometer, then lower the barometer from the roof of the skyscraper to the ground. The length of the string plus the length of the barometer will equal the height of the building."
This highly original answer so incensed the examiner that the student was failed immediately. The student appealed, on the grounds that his answer was indisputably correct, and the university appointed an independent arbiter to decide the case. The arbiter judged that the answer was indeed correct,but did not display any noticeable knowledge of physics; to resolve the problem it was decided to call the student in and allow him six minutes in which to verbally provide an answer which showed at least a minimal familiarity with the basic principles of physics.
For five minutes the student sat in silence, forehead creased in thought. The arbiter reminded him that time was running out, to which the student replied that he had several extremely relevant answers, but couldn't make up his mind which to use. On being advised to hurry up the student replied as follows:
Firstly, you could take the barometer up to the roof of the skyscraper, drop it over the edge, and measure the time it takes to reach the ground. The height of the building can then be worked out from the formula H = 1/2gt squared (height equals half times gravity time squared). But bad luck on the barometer.
Or if the sun is shining you could measure the height of the barometer, then set it on end and measure the length of its shadow. Then you measure the length of the skyscraper's shadow, and thereafter it is a simple matter of proportional arithmetic to work out the height of the skyscraper.
But if you wanted to be highly scientific about it, you could tie a short piece of string to the barometer and swing it like a pendulum, first at ground level and then on the roof of the skyscraper. The height is worked out by the difference in the gravitational restoring force (T = 2 pi sqr root of l over g).
Or if the skyscraper has an outside emergency staircase, it would be easier to walk up it and mark off the height of the skyscraper in barometer lengths, then add them up.
If you merely wanted to be boring and orthodox about it, of course, you could use the barometer to measure air pressure on the roof of the skyscraper, compare it with standard air pressure on the ground, and convert the difference in millibars into feet to give the height of the building. But since we are constantly being exhorted to exercise independence of mind and apply scientific methods, undoubtedly the best way would be to knock on the caretaker's door and say to him "I will give you this nice new barometer, if you will tell me the height of this skyscraper".
The arbiter re-graded the student with an 'A'.
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From The Guardian:
"After being charged 20 pounds for a 10 pounds overdraft, 30 year old
Michael Howard of Leeds changed his name by deed poll to "Yorkshire Bank
Plc are Fascist Bastards". The Bank has now asked him to close his account,
and Mr. Bastards has asked them to repay the 69p balance by cheque, made
out in his new name."
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Phreakers, or 'phone hackers, managed to break into the telephone system of 'Weight Watchers' in Glasgow, and changed the outgoing message to 'Hello, you fat bastard'
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From the Churchdown Parish Magazine: "Would the Congregation please note that the bowl at the back of the Church, labelled "For The Sick", is for monetary donations only.'
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From The Guardian concerning a sign seen in a Police canteen in Christchurch, New Zealand: 'Will the person who took a slice of cake from the Commissioner's Office return it immediately. It is needed as evidence in a poisoning case.'
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From The Times: 'A young girl, who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth, was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coast-guard spokesman commented: "This sort of thing is all too common these days."'
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From The Scottish Big Issue: 'In Sydney, 120 men named Henry attacked each other during a "My Name is Henry" convention. Henry Pantie of Canberra accused Henry Pap of Sydney of not being a Henry at all, but in fact an Angus. "It was a lie", explained Mr Pap, "I'm a Henry and always will be.", whereupon Henry Pap attacked Henry Pantie, whilst two other Henrys - Jones and Dyer - attempted to pull them apart. Several more Henrys - Smith, Calderwood and Andrews became involved and soon the entire convention descended into a giant fist fight. The brawl was eventually broken up by riot police, led by a man named Shane."
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From The Daily Telegraph in a piece headed "Brussels Pays 200,000 Pounds to Save Prostitutes": "... the money will not be going directly into the prostitutes' pocket, but will be used to encourage them to lead a better life. We will be training them for new positions in hotels."
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From The Derby Abbey Community News: We apologise for the error in the last edition, in which we stated that 'Mr Fred Nicolme is a Defective in the Police Force'. This was a typographical error. We meant of course that Mr Nicolme is a Detective in the Police Farce."
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From The Manchester Evening News: "Police called to arrest a naked man on the platform at Piccadilly Station released their suspect after he produced a valid rail ticket."
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An Austrian circus dwarf died recently when he bounced sideways from
a trampoline and was swallowed by a hippopotamus. Seven thousand people
watched as little Franz Dasch popped into the mouth of Hilda the Hippo
and the animal's gag
reflex forced it to swallow. The crowd applauded wildly before other
circus people realised what had happened.
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An elderly woman at a unit for sufferers of senile dementia passed round a box of mothballs thinking that they were mints. Eleven people were taken to hospital for treatment.
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Following drinking binge in Christchurch, New Zealand, Koto Salaki passed out - so his buddies stripped him and shaved off his eyebrows as a joke. Getting no reaction, they proceeded to cut off his ear and glue it onto his forehead. Doctors managed to sew it back on.
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After a heavy drinking session in Weymouth in August 1990, 51 year old
Philip Pyne fancied a kip on a bench. To stop himself rolling off, he put
12 nails through his trousers and in the process, drove several of them
through his leg.
Fortunately he was discovered by police.
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An operation at Nottingham hospital in January 1989 ended prematurely when the patient exploded. The casualty, an 2-year-old woman, was undergoing electrosurgery for cancer. The blast was attributed to an unusual build-up of stomach gases ignited by the sparks.
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