1. You try to enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven’t played patience with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4. You e-mail your work colleague at the desk next to you to ask
"Do you fancy going down the pub?" and they reply
"Yeah, give me five minutes".
5. You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date.
6. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they do
not have e-mail addresses.
7. Your idea of being organised is multiple coloured post-it notes.
8. You hear most of your jokes via email instead of in person.
9. When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone
in a business manner.
10. When you make phone calls from home, you accidentally insert a
"9" to get an outside line.
11. Your CV is on a diskette in your pocket.
12. You really get excited about a 1.7% pay rise.
13. Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose all your
best jokes.
14. Your supervisor doesn’t have the ability to do your job.
15. Contractors outnumber permanent staff and are more likely to get
long-service awards.
16. Board members salaries are higher than all the Third World countries
annual budgets combined.
17. It’s dark when you drive to and from work, even in the summer.
18. You know exactly how many days you’ve got left until you retire.
19. You see a good looking, smart person and you know it must be a
visitor.
20. Free food left over from meetings is your staple diet.
21. The work experience person gets a brand-new state-of-the-art laptop
with all the features,
while you have time to go for lunch
while yours powers up.
22. There’s no money in the budget for the five permanent staff your
department is short of,
but they can afford four full-time management
consultants advising your boss’s boss on strategy.
23. Your boss’s favourite lines are: When you’ve got a few minutes
...
Could you fit this in...? ...in your
spare time ... when you’re freed up.
24. Holiday is something you roll over to next year.
25. Every week another brown collection envelope comes round because
someone
you didn’t know had started is
leaving.
26. You wonder who’s going to be left to put into your ‘leaving’ collection.
27. You read this entire list, kept nodding and smiling.
28. As you read this list, you think about forwarding it to your "mates
you send jokes to" e-mail group.
29. It crosses your mind that your jokes group may have seen this list
already,
but you can’t be bothered to check so
you forward it anyway.